Well.. I'm so not in the mood today.. have you ever feel something like you desprately need to achieve this target.. it will be written in your report.. it's more important actually.. and you never say no before to other small things.. and suddenly one day you say no for your performance's good.. because you think you've taken enough of the small things and been unable to take good care of the big things.. so it's time to take care of the big things but at the same times you know someone else will get mad at you.. even though the person who has authority to accept your reason says it's ok.. I hate to feel bad even though I think I've done fairly good decision. I'm not being selfish too.. :( I'll owe so many people then.. if I didn't do what I have to do..
Last weekend is not so good either.. My grandpa has been warded to Hospital Ipoh.. I did feel bad about that. So bad.. He's 83.. And I never saw him as that weak.. he used to be someone who loves food.. have tough body even though it has been several years that he cannot walk.. but to see him without the appetite and become so thin did break our heart.. Doctor told us that die sakit usus.. there's something there.. still tak tau the situation macam mane lagi.. whether to operate or not.. still in test mode to discover things.. On Saturday, all of a sudden.. lutut dia bengkak.. kena jangkitan kuman then kena operate lutut.. he's still in hospital for the problems dekat usus.. Kesian jugak my grandma.. dia pon takde sape nak teman except jiran sebelah.. nak melawat everyday pon she's 70+ so tak larat jugak nak naik bas.. nak menunggu di hospital.. if my uncle nak amik everyday pon my uncle kerja.. kat Ipoh.. so susah jugak.. only sometimes je dia boleh amik.. Well, I don't feel good for both of them either.. that takes my mood away as well.. sepanjang weekend, we went to Ipoh everyday melawat my grandpa..
Iwan been away to Kenyir all weekend too.. I hate that I can't talk to him when I need him so badly.. :(
Supposely, we're going back again next 2 weeks.. because of my cousin's engagement.. I hope everything turns good as plan for her :)