What I want by now...

Ooo.. we just human who always have this what I want things.. Yes, we couldn't get all usually. But I think having chances to write down several what I want list at least help you plan and see things clearly.. Things which just as simple as it could be, sometimes it's the toughest things... and the worst ever is the hardest things to get.. :)) I never really write down about the new year resolutions for 2012.. certain people might just say.. we don't need any.. :D I don't care what you say.. But I think it's good.. It gets the mood.. But I'm writing an endless time Wants not really just the 2012 things..

As a mother I want to :

~ see Khayra grows up wonderfully

~ make sure Khayra gets enough time learning (even though just a simple tummy time)

~ teach Khayra to love books by reading to her at least once everyday

~ let Khayra express herself with arts she love and prefer.. and encourage the good arts

~ send Khayra to playgroup at age 2++ or 3.. preferably English Islamic

~ shop nicely for Khayra ( her pretty dresses, toys, books.. she deserve some collection but mama need to be wise in choosing)

~ try to let Khayra get only breastmilk everyday until she's 6 months

~ hope can wait till Khayra 3 years old before get her adik.. (unless Allah say otherwise)

As myself I want to :

~ get to saloon and spa this year.. ( need a good pampering after 9 months pregnancy and struggling with newborn) - I've skip saloon 9 months :o

~ manage money better by having shopping schedule for Khayra stuff, her savings, my saving, home accounts, and travelling accounts

~ manage job better.. :) I really should use planner wisely

~ go somewhere near  for 2012 vacation with hubby and Khayra.. really hope to go to Europe with hubby and kids one day

~ get a Master Degree.. maybe after Khayra 2 years old

~ move to our Home at Bandar Bukit Raja and start buying things for filling it.. ( need to really save if I want some vava boom kitchen cabinet)

~ treat myself at the end of the year.. something simple maybe :)

~ have sometimes to make up in the morning.. ( no one should see my tired face because I have a baby)

~ have some self time at least for writing blog..

~ make over wardrobe.. and shoes.. and bags...  ( things to give to others.. new things needed.. things to stop buying.. need to think of buying several good piece that last longer and allow me to rotate.. than buying too many)

~ cook something for hubby at least once a week :)

I'm trying to be realistic.. and it just some simple goal and long term things that I need to make sure of.. Hopefully, 2012 being one of the most wonderful year :)

Tak Sabar Nak Tunggu Wiken Depan.. :D

Hehe.. lame sungguh kite tak update kan.. :D I'm still around  :p

Anyway, saje je nak release a bit stress.. baru je completekan one document.. then nak relax few minutes sebab next nak completekan another one.. :) Anyway.. I've been playing lots of Harvest Moon I think.. so lambat update.. :p Manage to finish another novel.. Queen Of Bables Gets Hitched!! and I recommend this to all bride to be.. It's fun story with some wedding tips.. It's a chic novel so expect yourself to smile lots while reading :)



Kite tak la pembaca novel sejati sangat so nak habiskan satu... lamenye.. :D But reading is good kan.... why not take chance to practise some.. :)

Not much happen lately.. been around KL with hubby and lil brother yang dah bujang dah pon.. searching for best price PS3.. and bought one.. It's my lil brother yang menyimpan duit elaun asasi and decide to buy this stuff with that.. ( ishk2.. budak2 skarang.. I've bought my PSP like that too :p)

Been to Gambang weekend before that with hubby.. it's hubby's office punya family day :) ooo.. I'm so bad when it comes to transfering pics and all.. that's why I haven't really update lately.. hehe.. and I want to really puts some pics when make an entry..

Sorry if I'm late in answering questions.. or forget to answer any.. I haven't really visit my fb and blog these days.. and sometimes I read emails but need sometimes to answer.. If I ever forget your question, please remind me, Ok.. :)

Oh, what's the title related to this entry.. actually, I'm waiting for some good news.. and I will only get the confirmed news next Saturday.. It makes me can't wait.. Sure nanti kite akan wat entry untuk this good news.. (another promise that I wish to fulfilled.. insya-Allah)



Oh.. Overcome It With Sincere and Honest Writing..

Yes.. that's what I usually did.. overcome it with a sincere and honest writing.. It doesn't mean someone has to read.. It's the matter of letting it go from you.. Well, it kind of stuck in your mind sometimes.. Leaving mark that you can't easily erase.. It usually did. But at least, it lets the burden fly away.. or make things seem lighter.. And by the time you finish pouring everything.. You maybe reach your positive thoughts..

We tend to conclude when we write didn't we.. People pour their anger in writing and conclude it with a curse.. It's common. Saying things.. "She's crazy.. It's not fair.. I hope it comes back to her one day... " But, if you want to be a positive person.. and embrace what our religion taught us that we shouldn't revenge.. We should just smile and move on.. leaving prays that one day he'll repent what he's done..

To me.. it simply because we didn't know if we hurt somebody and he didn't forgive us.. Or that we have sins that we didn't notice. So Allah send us this tiny test that seems big to us.. so that we stop and think for few seconds that it's actually the way He shows us his love. He gives His test so that we turn back to him.. remember that we're just this tiny little people that manage to do whatever we did because of Him.. Isn't it beautiful to forgive.. hoping that because we sincerely forgive.. other person that maybe felt hurt by us.. sincerely forgive us back.. Well, we can't forget.. but at least forgive can be the best gift in life.. 

Oh, life did seem like almost the same with the moving wheels.. everyone know that they won't be on top in entire life.. We have time that we fall.. And it makes us remember that we should move on higher.. grow mature after all the mistakes we've made, right..  Of course, sometimes we thought that it's not entirely our fault.. But it's ok.. It something between us and Allah.. That person and Allah.. and Allah knows what's best for us.. There's always sunshine and rain before there's rainbow right :)

Just wanted to say..Thanx Sayang.. I love every positive things you said.. I need that more than some pity looks on the face. That's why I can really be with you all these years.. How much my mood swings and after another 10 minutes you make me smile again.. You always make me smile..Thanks So Much sayang.. 

INSYA ALLAH.. we'll find the way.. :) 

Luv this song.. really good for therapy :)

Everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
That your so alone
All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side




Insya Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way




Everytime you can make one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that its way too late
Your’re so confused, wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame




Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insya Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way
Insya Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way




Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
OOO Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way x2


Insya Allah x3
Insya Allah we’ll find the way

Inspired and Insecured

I haven't been online so much these days except for bace online paper few minutes in the morning... takde la busy sgt sebenarnya.. de la sehari dua cuba nak masak - masak sikit untuk hubby after office, asam pedas ngan gulai lemak.. hehe.. yesterday makan nasik arab je kat luar. not bad.. but tak seperfect yg aku imagine.. nak kena try kedai lain plak.

Kelmarin mama n abah told me that I should think of my career path.. Think of something good to do apart from stuck here.. I got good job now, to me.. I think others would love to be in my position. Alhamdulillah.. but my parents think I'm capable of something more, getting something more.. and wants me to think if it. Well I'll turn 25 this year.. "tuanya.. hehe" I should decide what I wanted to do actually.. chances probably lower when we reach 30 kan.. 5 years tu pejam celik je.. I hope I can decide if at least I wanted to have a change..

Yesterday been to Cyberjaya, visiting a building to talk to the building manager about the IBMS system.. We went with this Dr Ir.. who actually has design several.. Well, I've heard of her name several time.. never meet her personally. Wonder if she's as serious as everyone thought.. It turns out to be that not all the negative stories are true.. There are things people good at and we should look at it and hear the advice, right. She's an interesting personality that I got chances of knowing.. Well, certain days you just need to be inspired.. :)

Here the insecured story.. my monthly bestie.. Miss Pd still haven't visit me.. :( I'm not worried of getting pregnant.. It's like 4 days late yesterday.. and still my hpt strip don't show a real positive.. Wonder if I'm too early to test and should wait for next weekend to do the test again if Miss Pd still hasn't drop by.. But I heard people got +ve test even before their period.. which make me worried if I'm actually sick..

Any preggy sign??  I'm not so sure of any.. Takdela nak vomit ke pe.. My other Besties Miss B hurts a bit.. They usually did when Miss Pd about to come each month.. never this long though.. 2 days like that and Miss Pd sure to come.. now it has been few days.. Heard that could be a sign.. and it feels like Miss Pd will be here anytime ( you can tell the feeling right) but still not any sign when you check.. Some people said that it's a sign of preggy too.. Head ache do visit me sometimes.. but so light so I can just ignore and not even count it as headache.. Become food lovers cam org slalu kate if preggy makan banyak.. tp, bukan lepas kawen memang makan banyak ke? Prefer going straight home to lay on my bed rather than going out like I always love before.. pantang hubby tanye laju je.. die pon pelik bile tanye nak pegi mane? then kite jawab.. balik la..

Since my hpt takde lagi exact positive... I've been so worried if I sick.. Miss Pd just weird these days after I get maaried... I even did pap smear to confirm if I'm not sick.. and I'm not.. Alhamdulillah.. but that is last month story.. I expect I'm good this month... Just to make sure I'm not sick.. Preggy is a bonus if I am.. but healthy is the most important one..

The Not So Wonderful Beginning..

Baru je 10 hari tahun baru kan.. Most people maybe still in full spirit.. My beginning is not that wonderful.. Start work with such a full spirit to accomplish more this year but end up knowing that one of my colleague will leave us for a new biz plan.. It's good for him though.. Wish him good luck! but my assistant will leave my unit to cover his job so I have to figure out on how to complete things on my own. I should see it as a challenge, I know...

Flu comes visiting me the whole week last week :( But flu only.. without fever which is good :)  Friday I join my officemates making sandwiches.. but I eat so little because my flu gets worst. I'm just get better this weekend. Not really fully recovered... And actually I'm waiting for my monthly best friend to come visit me.. but it's a bit late now... I hope there'll be good news :D Currently.. nothing to confirm yet..

Abah supposed to undergo an operation today.. He went already to the hospital yesterday. Unluckily, it is postponed.. so he has to wait for March.

Life goes on like normal these days.. still learning to keep up.

3 days To Go ~ 2011 will find me..

How's your 2010?

I will always remember this year.. Takan tanak ingat tahun bile kawen x? hehe.. Tak penah pon aku terfikir yang jodoh aku akan sampai pada tahun 2010.. Tapi Alhamdulillah sampai jugak. :) Resolusi utama tercapai la tuh.. nak kawen, lepas macam - macam dugaan dan rintangan.. :D Alhamdulillah dapat gak kawen ngan buah hati intan payung :) Thanks sayang for making my wishes comes true this year.. Semoga Allah permudahkan lagi urusan kita dan memberikan kita rezeki yang barakah.. Amin..

Honestly, I was like terawang - awang jugak la sikit tahun 2010 ni.. Like 70 to 80% are mostly about getting

married.. Preparation A to Z.. satu kenangan manis jugak to me.. :) Sweet sangat preparation and the day ktorang finally become husband and wife.. :) Kerja.. huhu.. tanak cite SKT. Still ade benda yang aku tak puas hati yang I have to think of how to sort this prob in 2011.. hopefully things getting better :)

That is basically 2 main things in 2010.. Marriage n Job..

But there is sad story too.. My grandpa pass away kan.. dia tak sempat pon tengok kite kawen.. sedih sangat.. :(

Tahun baru 2011.. How?

• Ramai yang cakap.. berusahalah :p  hopefully I can be a good mother if the time come untuk jadi seorang ibu.. nanti kite tengok ye ujung tahun 2011 camne.. :D

• Job again.. need some replanning untuk kerja lebih baik lagi next year.. few other things.. register ngan board yang tak buat2 lagi.. and write log book untuk lebih ingat.

• Holiday.. I need some travel.. at least PD in Feb, Langkawi in March.. oversea? tak tau la.. hopefully some saving

• Masuk umah baru.. yay! home sweet home.. hopefully, ktorang can manage living together alone.. berdikari.

• Investment.. My finance need some revision lor.. saving target nak kawen lebih senang la dari saje2 saving.. but have to try to discipline myself la..

• Want to reward myself at the end of year nanti.. something women lust.. cam handbag coach.. hehe.. tak semestinya kan.. buy something yg puas hati.. it will be good enough

• Read more.. what for got chance tahu kedai book xcess and not reading..

Begitulah serba sedikit tentang Tahun 2010 dan 2011.. :) I hope everything goes well as planning.. Please farhana dearie.. be good!

Wiken Without My Dear...

Ump.. weekend lepas en abang saya pergi bersukan bersama officenya di Skudai.. Good for him, always been selected by his office for bowling.. Ok la tuh, tambah pengalaman and jalan - jalan kan. (I'm jealous) Hari ni baru dia nak balik.. on the way :) Windunye...

Jadinya weekend lepas tak buat ape sangat pon.. mengemas sikit2.. Saturday pergi tupperware sebab mama nak bli tupperware freezer.. then lunch ayam goreng kampung kat seksyen 7, Shah Alam. It's my parents' favorite..sy juga :) walaupun pkul 4 , still panas2 ayam tu.. (lunch ke?) Hehe.. then gik tesco.. beli barang dapur sikit2.. jadinya a very tipical family outing.. :D Ok la kan.. nanti dh kawen camne nak gik tesco ngan mama abah.. ump.. mesti rindu..

Malam download cite lame.. Sex and the city.. sbenarnya tak penah tengok pon cite nih walaupun popular sangat kan.. too many times mentioned in magazine esp cleo (my all time fav mag). Sbenarnye nak tgk filem yg baru 2 tapi pk2.. tak pnah tau pon pasal cite nih.. so begin with episode 1.. haha..Gile tetinggal.. Ala.. previously when the story begin.. I'm too young for this too adult discussion.. but I love the friendship of these 4 girls... It's amazing to me..

Ahad.. gik kenduri kahwin la.. sempat gik 2 kenduri..  but my camera meragam lagi.. I think I should really send it to be checked :( or.. bli baru la.. haha.. baru je 2 taun tau.. ump.. sony things camtu ke.. en abg punye hp pon.. cam baru je like 2 - 3 years dah ade sumthing needs to be repaired.. hopefully my lil fav buddy ni still alright.. takyah nak bli baru.. neway, i'll post the entry about this wedding next... with pic yg ckit dan menyedihkan :(

Pas wedding balik umah... my sis pon ikut balik umah my parents dan bawak si kecil Zafran Hakimi itu.. so, spend sometimes chatting with my sis, main ngan Zafran and try baju baru.. huhu.. Baju baru.. baru je siap 3 pasang. ( tgh pk... baju raye ke tak).. sparuh baju raye la kot...  Yang buat tuh adik ipar officemate my sis tau.. I like her works.. nice and cost like RM38 je untuk pesak gantung.. ok la kan.. di zaman skarang ini.. if antar kat auntie pon RM50 tau.. but still I usually split to her and auntie.. hehe..so de dua tailor..

Malam.. tdo 11.30 then bangun kol 2 lebih.. click on the TV.. Brazil Vs Ivory Coast.. sambil2 tuh bersahur nestum.. Ump.. tak la fanatik sangat but certain match seems like a must see one.. Like this one.. Usually tak bangun pon on 2.30.. even though currently in ranking 1 fantasy mc-d for my office hehe.. jgn jeles.. I played fantasy because en abang main.. jadik saje nak lawan sape besh :D last time EPL pon I manage to beat him.. this one entah la.. die lagik bagus kot in term of knowledge...

But I watch only till Brazil score the 3rd goal... too sleepy.. so, masuk tdo but unfortunately, sakit perut plak.. bangun.. ump, tak tau la if de makan yg tak besh mase kenduri or makan too many different things jadi perut pon meragam :( previously.. it has never been as this bad.. tapi still decide untuk puasa gak semalam.. haish dah bulan Rejab.. 2 bulan je lagi then nak pose Ramadhan kan..

Today.. got mood to contact some of the vendor.. haritu kan gatal2 tukar fon number.. then contact smue bagi no fon baru.. plus, dah add booking khemah malam nikah ngan khemah umah en abg.. RM350 je tau 1 khemah.. all in.. khemah arabian, scallop, krusi bersarung and bereben and bunga kat table.. macam my previous entry tuh pengantin warna black and red tu.. then booking mist fan.. ye.. dapat harga RM130.. trime kasih  Kak La bagi no fon En Ravi :) That's my so little wedding update.. maybe weekend nih boleh wat plan untuk fotografer en abg yg masih lagi tak confirm memandangkan weekend kami asyik terpisah je :D till then...

Satu Majlis Kahwin Pada Wiken Lepas...

Minggu lepas kan.. sminggu Iwan bz.. then wiken suddenly mama nak balik kampung pulak jenguk opah.. kesian dia sensorang je kat sane.. bile sampai die bgtau tadi die tertumpahkan minyak masak panas.. kena kaki dia n tangan sikit.. tengok melecur.. Ump.. kesian opah. Sabtu bawak dia pegi hospital.. Looks like macam it's getting better.. Jadi weekend lepas just habiskan masa kat kampung.. teman opah kat dapur and ajar adik kesayangan yang nak amek UPSR.. susah betul if adik lelaki tak mature ni.. kalau cakap pon die memain je.. ump a 12 years old boy.. what to expect then..

Hari ahad ade kenduri kat rumah jiran belakang.. dia memang jemput kami semua.. Dah lama tak pergi kenduri kat kampung.. feel dia lain sikit ok.. :) If kat kampung sebelah mama.. kat Kuala Dipang ni.. if kenduri kahwin.. dari malam tuh dah ade orang main kompang and bernasyid.. meriah je bunyi.. then dengar la jugak org karaoke dari hari sabtu lagi.. walaupun kenduri hari ahad.. Anak mak cik ni... hehe.. boleh tak aku tak ingat name pengantin.. mak dia name Kak Dah.. dulu dia belajar kat Jepun so dia bawak kawan Uni dia datang tengok kenduri nih.. comel sangat diorang pakai kimono.. so aku pon tumpang ambik gambar ngan diorang.. :) tapi diorang cam malu - malu sikit.. Sronok gak de besh fren dtg dari jauh2.. If blaja oversea leh la.. "padan muke.. dlu dpt gik france tanak gik :p" my friend yg kenal kat italy pon skejap je.. 3 months.. tak la contact sgt.. so I won't expect friends yang jauh2 nak datang... kawan - kawan yg ade pon pasti akan memeriahkan majlis.. :) It just tak ramai yang got a chance like that kan... having special guest.

Ok.. the piccas !

Suasana kenduri.. simple but still everyone have a good time chatting..

Cantik kan this dais.. simple in white...

Ump.. tengok pintu gerbang die... dekat entrance jalan umah pengantin..

Pengantin dah sampai... tapi camera meragam.. banyak pic tak jadi.. :(

Mase kat pelamin... warna grey.. my wedding dress nanti grey or silver jugak... so ok la kan if pelamin kale white

Curik bergambar ngan these Japanese girls :)

Comel kan kimono :)

Anyway.. CONGRATULATION to the bride and groom..  it's a nice wedding.. and so sorry to other wedding yang tak dapat nak attend.. 

-  kak suzy and hubby dekat k.terengganu

-  kak ros and hubby dekat kelantan

-  liyana and hubby at meru ( i really wanted to go but I have to go back to Perak.. so sorry)

Hehe.. this is my 2 darling... anak sedara buah hati sorang nih... Zafran and my lil brother Fikran.. Dah macam adik fikran je zafran ni kan :D tu la... pak su kecik sgt..  Zafran men - men topi my dad and pose to camera... Macam - macam la telatah budak2..

Lil Zafran and Fikran

There will be another 3 wedding this weekend.. tak tau if leh pegi smue.. but at least 2 weddings la.. so, will update on the wedding.. btwn, mahan has start doing my bunga telur and kak dyg told me that my purple dress will be ready next week.. tak tau la bile leh gik tgk.. hope everything good..

Thoughts and Feelings..

Hari ni hujan renyai - renyai.. Saje terasa nak melayan perasaan sendiri.. Ump, well.. blog is for sharing thoughts and feelings too kan.. Selalunya Rabu keluar dengan Iwan dear.. tapi this week dia sibuk dengan program yang office dia anjurkan... It's a big thing to the company.. My office pon esok ade pelancaran e-aduan.. so, after this boleh wat aduan online.. These days government pon dah more into customers satisfaction.. Maybe sebab prinsip ISO camtu... How quality is being derived kan.. So esok kena la involve bertugas skali.. :)

These days I admit that my life evolve at the same things.. 1st, works.. well, it's a 5 days a week things so pergi pagi.. balik pon senja.. malam dah flat.. getting amused by facebook and blogs.. then there call my bed.. I'm off to bed for another day tomorrow.. Well, I did envy people yang got so high energy that they don't feel tired that they can spend even the ordinary days like this chilling out with friends.. once a week on weekdays maybe ok to me.. that's what I usually do on wednesday night but with my dear fiance.. 

Well, some people may call I'm a person with no life.. what I had everyday is pretty simple.. Friends.. I got friends that I love but honestly we hardly meet.. My school friends that I use to share plates and pillows.. which is true. My matrix friends that I've spend a year with.. My UiTM's friend.. well, 3 years is not a short time for us.. We had good time in those years.. But Iwan has been with me 7 years.. so I did spend my time more with him.. Well, maybe because he's the one yang sudi nak call.. nak go out with me and wants me to temankan.. and the one yang tau how penakut I am when it's come to driving so he fetch me most of the time..dengan my house yang takde transport awam ni.. duk plak ngan parents.. if duk umah sewa tuh lain la kan.. Ump.. dah nampak macam my life always with him.. Even kadang rase macam I did miss out lots of things.. decide plak nak kahwin awal.. But I believe Iwan can make me happy and he always make me happy.. kita pon tak kan dapat semua kan in life.. If kadang - kadang jumpe my friends.. besh.. tapi ramai yang busy with works and life so nak arrange nak kumpul.. susah sikit.. and it happens that time nak jumpe tu la.. my mom nak balik kampung la.. keta rosak la.. itu la.. ini la.. waaa... kadang - kadang je nasib baik.. :(

Pastu wedding.. al maklumla.. baru setaun keja nak kawen.. memang la mama and abah tolong sikit2 tapi kena spare banyak jugak untuk diri sendiri.. nak itu nak ini.. smue orang nak kawen cantik kan.. so honestly this year my budget pon tight sikit so takle la nak wat big plan.. tringin nak ajak close friend datang rumah lepak2 wat BBQ smue.. tak tau la bila akan tercapai..hopefully before wedding.. plus, rumah pon dah start bayar interest so both me and iwan.. berusaha in between wedding and house pays.. so that we don't have to take even a cent personal loan to start life.. Well, tengok jugak kawan - kawan dah bli keta.. enjoy their pays.. gik holiday, concert and extra shopping.. bila pk if habiskan gaji smue.. memang capable to have such that short enjoyment time.. tapi tak salah kan mula - mula susah untuk senang kemudian.. lagipon sy kan orang biasa.. bukannya sentiasa banyak duit..

Ump.. sometimes feel like.. don't want to think about everything.. so just.. make yourself disconnect and feel the world around you.. dan bayangkan diri kat tepi pantai.. memandang laut luas.. sambil membaca novel yang besh.. Indah nya dunia yang relax..

Dear Diary... :)

Hehe.. suke citter princess diaries.. suke when she begins her entry with dear diary.. Saje. It feels such a relief today.. a great one.. this mid month.. It will be like my anniversary of 1 year servicing UiTM.. :) I like that fact.. Up until today.. I'm positive that I can learn more and many things especially in construction field.. Masih terlalu banyak yang perlu difahami.. well, it's not that easy managing the biggest university in malaysia even though just in term of facilities management... Sbenarnye, tenang sikit because finally dah habis dah 2 days talk yg department ktorang buat for engineers  in term of contract management.. memandangkan department aku just 4 orang QS je.. so ktorang pon kenalah berusaha memberi the best one dengan ilmu yang ktorang ade.. which to me.. sangat sy rase segan sbb baru je setahun keja.. n these engineers all senior than me.. tapi bagus jugak in terms of public speaking and confidence to talk about contract. Seb baik de bos nak cover.. hehe.. so the perfect difficult answer always come from her :) neway, i'll learn more things as moving along...

Smalam tgk cite Prince of Persia.. besh nya.. to me, sgt puas hati.. I've watch Robin Hood before. Besh.. but I think I prefer prince of persia.. maybe because it's more unexpected :) Smalam jalan - jalan ngan en abg sambil pk... bagusnya wednesday movie murah sbb it's like middle of the week untuk release stress after 3 days working.. so kire ok la kan.. and my fav place always the curve..

Last Saturday pon singgah curve lepas balik dari perak.. Iwan bawak camera plak.. so dia snap a few pics.. hehe.. takde keja nak posing2 kat situ.. huhu.. tapi tak kire.. sebab my blog then nak paste jugak gambar.. besh tau bile ade fiance pandai amek gambar.. hehe.. nanti weekend nak ajak en abg gik putrajaya plak. die kate de pesta nasi lemak.. yeke.. kalo betul bagus la.. :) dah lame die nak cari nasi lemak sedap... tak bleh amek gambar snirik2 je ke :p pernah tau dia kate.. susah - susah kite gune tripod je la if nak add pic kawen.. :p ade ke plak.. hahha

Suke background pic ni..

posing control la.. :p

jgn marah.. jd model en abg snirik.. die wat testing lens plak :D

 Ok la.. daripada prasan lame2 baik la end the topics.. hehe..

Al - Fatihah untuk atuk.. Semoga Rohnya dicucuri rahmat..

Atuk dah pergi 26 Mei lepas...

Sedih sangat..

Ini kali pertama saya lihat kematian dengan lebih dekat.. Sepanjang hidup, ini kali ke -3 saya menghadapi kematian ahli keluarga.. Opah sebelah abah pergi waktu saya kat matrix.. waktu saya sampai dia dah selamat dikebumikan. Saya hanya mencucuk sebatang pokok puding di atas pusaranya.. dan menangis.. Masa itu, Pak Lang yang amek saya di taiping dan hantar saya ke kuala kangsar.. tapi tahun lepas pada 5 hb Jun.. Pak Lang pon pergi.. dengan mengejut sebab serangan jantung.. semua orang terkejut.. Dia sangat baik.. dan semuanya jadi ceria bila dia ada. Seminggu sebelum dia pergi, saya sempat jumpa pak lang di kenduri kahwin.. semua orang kata dia tak banyak bercakap.. tapi dia duduk di sebelah saya sambil bertanya tentang pengalaman di Itali.. Atuk orang yang paling sedih bila Pak Lang pergi.. hingga sminggu sebelum dia pergi.. dia masih sedih memikirkannya..

Hari Ahad sebelum tu.. baru sahaja pulang daripada melawat atuk.. dia nampak lebih sihat.. 2 hari sempat ke pejabat.. Hari Selasa Acu telefon mama.. atuk semakin tenat.. Aku jadi bingung mula2.. dia nampak sihat hari Ahad dan aku berharap dia terus sihat.. Sampai - sampai.. atuk sudah terlantar, matanya tertutup rapat.. dia bernafas dengan menggunakan oksigen.. Aku rasa sedih.. risau jika dia pergi.. tapi semua seolah - olah bersedia dengan sebarang kemungkinan.. melihat keadaan atuk.. aku terus mencapai Yaasin dan membacanya.. Abah dan Mama pon sama.. adik pon turut sama.. Mak Lang, Acu, Pak Long dan Mak Long, Uda dan Mak Uda pon ada.. Malam sebelum tu, Wan yang jaga atuk.. Wan anak Alang.. Mungkin sebab atuk terlalu inginkan Pak Lang menjaganya.. Malam terakhir dia masih sedar.. Wan yang menunggu atuk di hospital.. 

Kami bergilir - gilir membaca Yaasin.. aku tak dapat tidur lena.. walaupun mengantuk dan tersengguk.. beberapa kali juga aku mengulang bacaan Yaasin.. sentiasa kedengaran bunyi mesin degupan nadi atuk.. malam itu.. kandungan oksigen atuk masih paras normal.. Menjelang subuh.. mak long, pak long, mak lang, Uda dan mak uda  pulang.. mungkin keadaan masih stabil.. Bila waktu subuh.. kami yang tinggal pergi bersolat bergilir - gilir.. selesai solat.. kami baca Yaasin lagi.. Tapi.. nampak kandungan oksigen atuk semakin turun.. kaki atuk sejuk.. bila sampai satu paras.. mesin tu berbunyi amaran.. tapi kandungan oksigen tetap tak naik jadi.. nurse tutupkan mesin measure tu... aku tahu.. kandungan oksigen tuh mungkin akan terus menurun.. tapi.. aku harap tak secepat itu.. bila pagi.. keadaan jadi sibuk.. tak elok berkumpul di wad ramai - ramai.. Abah ajak aku dan adik serta Nabila bersarapan.. kami turun sebentar.. Mama dan Opah tinggal menunggu atuk..

Abah belikan karipap dan air mineral untuk mama.. aku naik ke wad untuk menghantar semuanya.. bila aku sampai.. muka atuk ditutup tuala.. Aku tanya mama.. kenapa tutup muka atuk.. atuk ada lagi tak.. Mama jawab perlahan.. atuk dah takde.. aku terus pergi ke sisi atuk dan buka tuala.. mata atuk tertutup rapat.. dia tak bernafas.. aku telefon abah, mak long dan along.. khabarkan berita.. aku duduk di sisi atuk cuba membaca Yaasin.. tapi air mata aku turun laju.. jadi betul kate opah.. Atuk kata.. dia tak pasti kalau dia sempat tengok aku kahwin.. Aku jadi sangat sedih.. Masa Medical Assistant datang nak uruskan atuk.. sebelum orang forensik datang.. aku pon bangun duduk di tepi.. Mama kata tak pe.. dia dan opah sempat bisikkan Allah banyak kali di telinga atuk.. Atuk pergi dengan perlahan jam 8.45 pagi.. 

Allah mudahkan atuk.. dia dibawa ke bilik forensik.. petugas hospital tanya jika nak uruskan mayat di hospital.. kami semua setuju.. tapi kami dapat jugak bantu mandikan, kafan kan atuk.. aku lihat semuanya.. petugas tu cekap sangat.. cepat dia buat semuanya.. wajah atuk nampak bersih bila dimandikan.. Selesai kafan.. dia ajak keluarga kami solat jenazah.. tapi aku tak turut serta sebab tak bawa telekung.. 

Jenazah dibawa ke masjid terus.. kat situ.. aku dapat solat jenazah sekali.. lepas tuh.. terus atuk dikebumikan.. semuanya cepat dan mudah untuk atuk.. sebelum Zuhur semua selesai.. Rezeki atuk.. dia seorang yang baik.. solat dan mengaji selalu.. sentiasa mendengar kuliah agama.. Dulu, setiap kali periksa aku mesti telefon atuk.. Mintak dia doakan kejayaan ku.. dan dia tak pernah lupa.. dia sanggup bangun malam sembahyang hajat dan doa untuk ku.. selalu bila aku kata aku dapat result yang ok.. dia gembira.. Dia sangat sayang aku.. dulu aku selalu naik basikal di belakang atuk ke mana - mana.. ke pasar malam.. ke Jeram.. ke kedai.. dia selalu belikan aku bunga api bila raya.. dia simpankan bunga api untuk aku.. Waktu aku suka feminin dulu.. atuk belikan aku kaset.. aku seronok sangat dan atuk bagi aku bawak balik rumah... Bagi aku.. dia sangat sayang aku...Walaupun aku berharap dia dapat tengok aku kahwin.. aku pon baru setahun kerja.. baru 2 - 3 kali bagi duit pada atuk... baru sekali belikan baju raya atuk... semua tu terlalu sikit..

Aku harap atuk ok... dan aku akan sentiasa doakannya..

Wiken di Perak.. Hospital n Kak Ni Tunang

Hari ini full of update mood :) hehe..

Cam yang dah cite.. weekend lepas memang aku balik Perak.. Balik cepat - cepat hari Khamis sebab atuk sakit teruk.. Kesian atuk.. Doktor dah sahkan dia kena cancer.. cancer dekat bawah usus.. still tak tau what's the best solution up till today.. hari khamis dan jumaat nampak dia sangat tak larat.. hari sabtu n ahad nampak he's getting better.. nampak berseri sikit.. tapi still penyakit tu tak tau treatment dia lagi. Ntah la.. it's not so good weekend.. everyone macam sedih n takde mood je.. atuk selalu je maracau and said weird things that we're so worried about.. things that we don't want to hear.. maybe, sebab dia sakit that's why.. kesian dia.. he has lost lots of blood sebab penyakit nih.. badan dia pon seems like takle nak counter penyakit sampai knee dia 2 times kena operation sebab bernanah.. :( 

So, my routine Jumaat is wake up pagi.. sarapan.. siap2 then pergi hospital.. makan tengah hari n pergi hospital balik.. petang baru balik.. Sabtu pagi my cousin tunang.. my aunt tak pegi sebab tunggu atuk kat hospital.. my uncle get some rest sebab dah one week dia tunggu kat hospital.. he's the nearest one.. so dia pon tak pegi.. kitorang pegi la jugak.. kesian kat my cousin plak nanti.. lagipon ayah dia dah takde.. macam baru setahun pak cik saya tu meninggal which make my atuk sgt sedih up till today.. he still wish pakcik sy tuh boleh tunggu n jaga die like before2 this.. it's so sad.. :( petang balik gik hospital.. then ahad pagi pon pegi hospital.. So, I spend most of my weekend kat hospital.. My atuk at least seems happy bila ramai - ramai orang datang.. :) especially bila bawak buah hati ktorang zafran hakimi.. anak my sis yang umur 2 tahun lebih tuh..

Masa tunang tuh everything berjalan dengan baik.. my cousin tunang simple je.. so I just help her by taking few pics.. tp pakai camera biasa je.. boleh la dari takde gambar.. pasni kite tgk piccas dia, ok..

To add to my not so good mood.. sy tak sempat nak ke butik pengantin untuk tgk baju.. terlambat.. well.. kak dayang dh ckp nak msg gmbar baju tuh.. maybe tengok skali arung je nanti bile purple siap..  maybe amek yg kak dayang tempah baru.. 

Entah la.. when things turn like this to your family.. it feels like all the good mood swept away.. :(

Ok.. my weekend shots..

While waiting for the guy side.. :) - Kak Ni and Yani

Sarung cincin pelan2.. :)

Dah lepas...

Us with hantaran untuk lelaki..

Kak Ni, my sis and little zafran with hantaran from the guys.. so sweet in pink..

Kak Ni with en tunang.. :)

My Thursday Story..

Waktu recess.. tapi sebuk je kat komputer orang lain :p Kak siti takde plak.. tumpang com die :) walaupun com aku lagik baru.. guna pon windows 7 :p .. tapi bilik yang tak siap - siap tuh wat aku takde mood nak wat pape pon hari ni.. sebulan lepas diorang kecikkan bilik aku.. kecik sangat.. tapi aku tak lah kisah sangat sebab bukannya bilik kat rumah..  kat office.. then bos aku suh besarkan balik sikit..dh dalam 3 minggu kot tunggu kontraktor ni datang betulkan balik.. then only hari ni dia datang.. dh hack smue and reinstall balik partition tuh.. huhu..bilik aku kembali berabuk.. :( tambah la resdung aku nanti.. tapi tak settle lagi tuh.. camne ntah aku nak masuk guna com aku ngan segala benda urgent yg aku nak settlekan dh jadi siaran tergendala.. Seb baik leh wat keja yg sampingan yang lain - lain sementara hari ini..

Tadi my dear dad call me ckp my grandpa macam sakit teruk.. :( so my mom macam nak balik awal hari ni so ktorang terus boleh balik kampung.. tapi tak confirm lagik.. but I've told my boss already.. hopefully everything ok dan takde pape yang tak baik happen to him.. my cousin lagipon nak tunang this saturday.. aku sangat la takde mood bila ada news camni.. dah la pagi tadi boleh pulak keta abah takle start.. ishk2.. abestu.. gik keja lambat sikit tunggu mekanik datang pasangkan.. seb baik abah memang kamceng ngan orang tuh. Willing je dia datang umah aku kol 8 pagi install bateri baru..

Tuh hari ini yang baru separuh hari...

______________________________________________

Semalam aku kuar ngan en abg ku yang tercinta.. 1st pergi jakel.. sebab aku memang nak blikan 4 spupu aku kain satin.. 2 pasang untuk time nikah nanti aku nak diorang duduk kat tepi aku kat pelamin tuh.. "dayang sort of".. haha.. gurau je.. neway, aku de bace2 orang kata it's not good dok sensorang je kat pelamin tuh so better invite friends or cousin duk skali.. so aku invite 2 cousin aku untuk dok kat pelamin tuh.. tapi.. aku nak la nampak macam nice dalam gambar so.. aku blikan kain untuk diorang.. sebab kalo aku nak sponsor the whole family.. alamak.. tak termampu den.. then another 2 pasang untuk spupu aku darjah 6 dan tingkatan 3 yg macam darjah 6 :p.. aku sbenarnye takde calon flower girl buat masa ini jadi.. 2 of my cousin nih.. akan jadi pengiring together with flowers.. macam bridesmaid la kot.. ntah.. aku still nak tanye kalau anak jiran aku leh jadi flower girl..  nak harap pe org panggil yg lakinye.. bukan flowerboy kan.. kalo anak sedara aku yg umur 2 tahun lebih tu alamatnya.. pengantin jalan straight.. die jalan ke kiri.. berlari... adui... dia memang belum besar lagi..

Then.. kitorang saje - saje jalan kat anggerik mall.. rupenye.. ade kedai Bak bukak kat situ... tailoring baju melayu tuh well known kan... tailoring baju perempuan ngan kasut pengantin pon ade.. baju melayu.. expect RM120 to RM150 if korang taknak sulam.. nak sulam.. RM200.. tapi nice jugak kalo sulam :) tempah kasut RM160 tapi material kain on top tu sendiri.. beli siap cheaper.. below RM100 sepasang.. currently belum ade banyak choice lagi.. baju perempuan.. yesterday ade org hantar chiffon beaded punye baju nikah.. nice jugak for price of below RM600.. boleh dapat.. yg tuh need to ask further la..  My 1st designer pon dh contact balik so I hope I can just send the baju to her...but baju melayu.. confirm hantar situ :) that's what en abg said.. and I'm looking forward to kasut kahwin jugak kat situ.. kalo boleh bli siap cantik... tutup cite.. senang :p

So, maybe my sis will drive with me to kampung.. so aku maybe ade chance nak tengok baju kat butik dayang.. n want to snap2 the piccas of that baju.. :) Hope bulan 6 bleh siap so bleh carik kasut.. :D

Sakit...

Tak pernah rase demam camtu.. Iwan slalu cakap pasal demam malam.. dia memang slalu demam malam.. bangun pagi, ok.. tapi.. bila tengah hari.. mula lah terasa sakit kepala.. demam pon datang.. sampai malam.. :( lame tak jumpa Iwan hari tu.. seminggu lebih.. suruh Iwan datang hari khamis tapi hujan lebat.. cam mane dia nak balik rumah naik motor if camtu. Then pk, maybe just jumpa sabtu tapi jumaat abah mc pulak.. mama dapat APC :) kena pegi melaka.. so, abah sruh tanya if iwan boleh ambik kat office.. oh, sy tak drive sebab keta mama yang kite drive slalu tuh kat bengkel sebab adik tercinta telah mengaccidentkan kereta itu.. bile ntah keta tu nak siap :( kena pulak malam tu Piala Thomas.. tak sabar la en abang tu nak balik.. last nya, tengok kat hakim sek 7 lama.. mengadap nasi goreng yang tak berapa nak sedap :(  pas abes game tuh trus balik rumah sebab sabtu nak keluar lagi.. penat sangat.. sembang - sembang ngan Iwan dekat phone.. boleh tak.. smayang isyak n tdo je.. ingat nak mandi kemudian then tetido.

Rupenye kes berat.. sebab dah tahu.. memang selalunya macam tuh.. kalo dah kena walau setitik hujan pon.. jangan lah wat2 lupa nak mandi.. confirm demam.. tengah hari jumaat punyalah dengan gaya hidup sihat serbu kolam UiTM time rehat n swimming.. time balik tuh hujan tak ingat nye lebat.. suka mandi n berendam2 nih tapi lepas berendam mesti macam nk demam :D n kalo kena hujan memang bertambah la kebarangkalian itu..

Sabtu sebenarnya ok je time bangun pagi tuh.. semangat je nak pergi ampang point tengok pameran pengantin tapi jam gile la kat KL.. berpusing - pusing jugak sebelum sampai ampang point.. panas terik plak tu.. aircond tak brape nak ok.. :( survey2 fotografer en abg je..Tapi.. malangnya, takde yang berkenan di hati en abg pon nak wat fotografer :( then book date dekat ekhwan catering.. so, confirm caterer aku ekhwan.. same je cam kakak aku kawen dlu.. n aku bodek akak tuh bagi kek fondant free.. if tak kena tambah.. patutnya if booking leh main wheels of fortune :p tambah menu kecik2 ckit tapi sebab nak kek fondant so tak tambah la menu tuh.. lam pakej de kuih 2 jenis dh.. tapi if nak.. leh tukar ngan bubur.. teh tarik corner pon memang free.. dah deduct budget kek fondant aku :D

Pastu gik la MDTC nye fair kat PWTC.. ingat bleh la carik pakej menarik.. rupenye tak de pe yang menarik pon :( if tau mesti tak pegi sbb parking mahal.. Pastu gik The Curve tengok citter Robin Hood.. besh jugak citter tuh.. seb baik dpt seat yg boleh la.. tak mendongak.. Balik.. makan kat anis wanis, bukit naga.. first time en abg makan sini.. aku dh banyak kali dh.. tapi tak dok la kat pondok2 diorang.. dok kat meja biase je.. kalo korang nak rase makan kat pondok2 pegi la situ.. 

Yg tak bestnya.. start dari tengok wayang tuh dah start rase semacam je.. macam nak demam.. :( balik mandi air panas rase sedap je badan.. rupenya bila abes tuh menggigil2 kesejukan.. demam n sakit kepala datang altogether.. then tido.. bangun kol 6.. still sakit.. rupanya tido pon tak membantu.. then carik panadol.. makan.. kol 8 lebih bangun ade la rase sedap ckit badan.. memang nak pegi kenduri kawan skolah rendah aku kat sek 17.. nanti aku letak gambar kawen diorang.. aku pon bersiap2 pergi kenduri kawen kol 12 lebih.. on the way nak pegi mula rase macam nak demam balik.. :( dh cakap awal2 ngan iwan.. cyg, nak pegi klinik pasni.. :( then sampai kat umah kenduri.. tak makan pon sgt.. 2, 3 suap je.. then amek2 gambar diorang.. sembang ngan 2,3 member skolah rendah jap.. sambil bagitau en abg.. tu la yg 1st time tengok wyg ngan sy.. :p tu la yg slalu dtg kelas sy mengacau sy.. haha.. serius..

Iwan ajak gik tesco.. :D sbenarnye nak ajak die pegi anggerik mall n jakel if sempat.. tapi time gik tesco.. nak jalan pon tak larat.. tak pernah rase camtuh.. setiap saat rase siksa nye la.. tak pikir nak bli ape pon kecuali 100 plus.. Iwan je beli 2, 3 barang rumah yang mak dia kirim.. pastu terus pegi klinik.. seb baik tak ramai org.. aku memang ske gik salam medical centre.. tak rmai cam demc.. dok kejap doktor panggil then dia amek suhu.. oh tinggi jugak temperature.. siap ckp if 2 hari still demam.. dia nak amek darah.. dia pon offer mc.. aku amek je la.. so, berehat kat umah rini.. demam tak rase sgt.. selera masih tak ade.. bege pon rase tak sedap.. slalu sedap je :( sakit kepala sampai saat ini masih ade.. Masih berusaha untuk sihat...

Life in between things...

Well.. I'm so not in the mood today.. have you ever feel something like you desprately need to achieve this target.. it will be written in your report.. it's more important actually.. and you never say no before to other small things.. and suddenly one day you say no for your performance's good.. because you think you've taken enough of the small things and been unable to take good care of the big things.. so it's time to take care of the big things but at the same times you know someone else will get mad at you.. even though the person who has authority to accept your reason says it's ok..  I hate to feel bad even though I think I've done fairly good decision. I'm not being selfish too.. :( I'll owe so many people then.. if I didn't do what I have to do..

Last weekend is not so good either.. My grandpa has been warded to Hospital Ipoh.. I did feel bad about that. So bad.. He's 83.. And I never saw him as that weak.. he used to be someone who loves food.. have tough body even though it has been several years that he cannot walk.. but to see him without the appetite and become so thin did break our heart.. Doctor told us that die sakit usus.. there's something there.. still tak tau the situation macam mane lagi.. whether to operate or not.. still in test mode to discover things.. On Saturday, all of a sudden.. lutut dia bengkak.. kena jangkitan kuman then kena operate lutut.. he's still in hospital for the problems dekat usus.. Kesian jugak my grandma.. dia pon takde sape nak teman except jiran sebelah.. nak melawat everyday pon she's 70+ so tak larat jugak nak naik bas.. nak menunggu di hospital.. if my uncle nak amik everyday pon my uncle kerja.. kat Ipoh.. so susah jugak.. only sometimes je dia boleh amik.. Well, I don't feel good for both of them either.. that takes my mood away as well.. sepanjang weekend, we went to Ipoh everyday melawat my grandpa..

Iwan been away to Kenyir all weekend too.. I hate that I can't talk to him when I need him so badly.. :( 

Supposely, we're going back again next 2 weeks.. because of my cousin's engagement.. I hope everything turns good as plan for her :)

Tentang Cantik dan sebagainya.. :D

Sorry sebab my blog is under construction.. :D Still ade masalah and imperfection yang saya tak pandai tukar sendiri :( I hope people who come across it will love the new look :D Well, my honey yang change everything for me.. He choose this one for me..He wants my blog to nampak girly sikit.. not just  blogspot template..It's a bit feminine and romantic like with pink, my fav color becomes the main one :) Well, at first I insist if I can see other options and yeah.. there are but it turn out that this is my fav one at last.. Iwan has choose it rightly :D So, I'm waiting for him to correct everything since tadi tak sempat..

Penat jugak these few days, dikursuskan.. 4 days dah go to an audit course.. well, I'm not planning to be the internal auditor of my office but it's something that everyone baru should go to this training.. according to my office.. Tak pernah fikir ISO is something interesting but it's actually not that bad. Macam mana feel nya this study.. ? Same je macam study PWD form. Selak one clause to another but my PWD de 50 + clause.. nii yang penting 4 big section je.. :D

So, few things I want to babble about.. 1st, my Mom and Iwan talk to me about spa.. Iwan think that it's good for me.. hehe.. he wants me to feel good about myself, I think.. My mom of course wants her daughter to look pretty, and well, I don't know when I want to go for it or which spa is good for me...But I hope I can get myself treated top to toe at least once..

Then, Iwan wants me to wear contact lense during my wedding.. he wants my eyes to look gorgeous.. seriously, mata akan nampak cantik sangat in picture if you had your contact lense on... so, I'm not wearing spect so I never need contact and I don't know how to use this... then, Iwan told me that I should buy them now so I get use to wearing them.. ump.. I hope so :)

My friend suggest that we go swimming tomorrow.. since friday kire ok la daripada tak buat apa during lunch then manfaatkannya dengan go for swimming for some exercise.. ump, lama gak tak swimming2 nih.. tak taulah if bleh timbul lagi.. hehe.. Really.. last time belajar suke2 sebab pk.. tak bestnya kalau pegi holiday.. teringin nak main2 kat pool pastu dok statik je tak begerak2 sebab tak pandai langsung berenang.. hahaha.. but my water confident utk tempat dalam still tak ok lagi.. :(

Iwan will be away few days.. :( Mesti rindu sebab takle nak call :) His office got trip to kenyir.. and I'm going to go back to Perak to see my grandpa.. he was admitted to hospital sebab sakit.. terasa yang orang sekeliling bertambah tua.. aku pon same.. bertambah tua tapi tak tahu la bertambah baik atau tidak :( 

Ok, further notes later :)

Pameran Pengantin, Jakel baru dan i-city..

Dahsyat sungguh last Saturday macam semua tempat pon nak pergi.. :) Campur ngan my mom sruh pergi beli tupperware dlu then dah janji dengan aunty nak amek baju yang dah dua bulan kat aunty :D pastu memang nak hantar kain yang dah simpan 2 ke 3 bulan dah.. tak jait lagi.. so 2 goes to aunty and 3 goes to another tailor yang aku tak penah jumpa tapi dh wat 10 pasang baju aku.. sebab cheaper.. tapi aunty is so good at making baju kebaya especially untuk saya yang memang tak pernah jumpa tailor yang buat perfect kebaya sy.. so still suka divide2 kan.. :)

Then lunch dekat Sri TTDI lagi... tempat favorite En Abang itu.. Tiap - tiap kali pon aku berazam nak makan lauk lain tapi end up makan ikan merah masak lemak... sedapnya.. tak kira, nak rase sambal udang petai pulak next :) Pastu sibuk nak survey tailor yang bleh wat baju my darling itu.. jadi terus ke SACC sebab teringat ada Din Wahab punye kedai.. dia charge RM120 untuk baju kain biasa cam cotton and RM170 untuk kain yang soft silk like..  Pastu kedai yang depan Salikin tuh caj baju melayu RM180.. berkenan jugak tengok baju - baju kat kedai tuh sebab pattern style zaman lama.. very well tailored..

Then pergi Jakel.. hehe.. saje.. punya la ramai orang.. pening tengok orang.. pening lagi aku tengok kain.. macam - macam sangat sampai tak tau nak pilih.. but I beli gak 1.. yg pelik dan berkenan di hati.. Then semalam pon pergi lagi sebab office mate aku nak pergi.. sape suruh Jakel bukak blakang pagar UiTM.. bagi 3 Jam ari Jumaat pon boleh je habiskan masa kat situ.. :D But seriously.. aku suka because banyak choice.. cuma part atas tak siap sepenuhnya so maybe pengantin punya hal tak lengkap betul - betul lagi.. but dah ada banyak jugak choice..

Pastu Off to Mid Valley.. Semua gara - gara pameran pengantin. Sebenarnya nak survey if ada photographer yang ok.. walaupun sudah jatuh hati dengan work satu photographer ini.. nak la jugak survey if ada option yang lain. Tapi tak jumpa yang menepati citarasa.. Maybe sebab my dear tu dah aim this photographer because he's experienced and charges.. tak murah pon.. cuma because yang dia dah view gambar - gambar dia semua susah nak carik yang slack.. which mean, he knows how to select good pictures.. and we still capable of paying that price.. then we proceed untuk jumpa tomorrow..

Ump.. tercicir dah cerita pameran pengantin.. Tak banyak pon vendor.. bagi saya la.. but ada reka teemor ngan dicky the fabulous.. memang meriah deco diorang.. Maybe sebab I've book already so many things jadi not so many interest me.. Cuma berkenan dengan yommie's cake (betul ke ejaan) .. sedap gak yang testing tuh tapi 1 kg fondant RM90 lebih.. mahal jugak rasenye.. so, tak tau la berjaya tak aku dapat kek fondant or not.. tengah tunggu my aunt bagi quot from her friend sebab kek masa aku tunang tuh.. cantik sangat.. dia sponsor..

nih fondant cake mase aku tunang

Selingan je gambar tuh.. pastuh kan diorang beria promote champagne halal name cham - alal.. nampak pelik tapi macam air sparkling la rupanye.. cuma cham - alal means for muslim yang tak minum alcohol but the way they promote.. the posters macam club and party like things.. so, tak nampak macam ciri produk halal sangat..

Ok, next.. pas enjoy Mc - D kat Mid... Kitorang pun pergi la i-city sebab family aku memang beria nak pergi i-city tapi aku kuar ngan en abg so.. ktorang pergi snirik je in case teserempak mama n abah.. tapi tak pon.. Macam mane rupa i - city... berlampu2 cantik tapi ramai orang la.. sebenarnya aku mengharapkan orang tak nampak crowded sangat n besh nya if boleh shoot gambar after nikah kat situ.. hehe.. boleh ke..

snow time always..

nice tak bola - bola

us... 

suke lampu - lampu colorfull camni..

Bab kata en abg tuh... memang sangat bijak tak caj bateri camera.. so, tak dapat shoot banyak gambar.. sebab bateri habis.. next, ktorang akan pergi lagi dengan camera slr en abg untuk gambar lagik cun.. so, ada part 2.. hehe. Ok.. permesso.. ci vediamo nel altro.. :)

Change of Wind.. :)

Saje je sebenarnya.. on Friday afternoon like this melayan blog.. :) All my office mates are away.. masing - masing ada agenda masing - masing memandangkan semalam gaji :D These few weeks banyak sangat yang bermain inside my head ni.. I really think of making changes of myself.. get myself motivated. Ingat tak dulu - dulu lagu "stay the same"

Don't you ever wish
You were someone else
You were mean to be
The way you are exactly

Don't you ever say
You don't like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself
You better off by far 

Lebih kurang camni la lagu die.. kite nih tak patut wish kite somone else sebab we were born as uniquely as we can be.. tapi, we have to love ourselves kan. So it means give ourselves the best.. So, perlu jugak ade changes for goods.

Sebenarnya up until today I'm still striving to figure out something I'm so passionate about.. Wish would be my additional advantages.. A good quality. Sama ada, saya tak jumpa atau saya tak nampak. Ump...

Masih mencari..

But it doesn't mean that I don't like what I'm doing now.. saya suka dan saya masih belajar. Masih cuba untuk lebih mahir.. And these days things coming from every direction.. Works, Wedding, My parents request, My friend request of help, which make me do hope for that I maybe should have more than 24 hours a day :D well, I know it's about management and elimination of stress tapi.. saying always easier than performing.. even though action should speak louder than words..

Well, maybe the first step is getting it out of my head before re- arrangement :D then a re-schedulling.. sungguh.. kadang - kadang we got this target inside our head.. for like a time frame yang sometimes seems illogical to human body.. :D sekurang - kurang nya luahan kind of help me sort my mind a bit..

That would be a short term goals stress.. macam mane yang long term pulak. I know life shouldn't be monetary oriented sangat but money is as well needed untuk kelancaran perjalanan hidup kita. Well, sometimes susah jugak bila Mama says something like she wants to see me as PTD, posting banyak all over jabatan means.. higher chances untuk naik position.. which everyone tahu is not as that easier.. ( well, I fully understood that mama works in government for a long time so she thinks that the best post that I should try to be one like). And abah on the other hand thinks that Lecturing is the best one since it involves the same gate as currently.. just a change of scheme.. (and lecturer memang takyah tunggu kekosongan jawatan gred atas untuk naik.. an open post) but to teach means to be specialist.. master and experience should be in allign.. Yes, I'll do my master soon.. It's in my life target but experience is not something you can buy.. So, what I want for myself exactly? What my long term goal..

I envy those people yang have courage to jump into bussiness industry.. Ajaran agama pon kata the best job is bussiness.. But yang sangat tak ada experience.. yang sangat takut.. yang tak ada modal.. well, these first step pon make you berfikir jugak.. jadi government servant memang seems easier in term of security.. but If we want to see ourselves meningkat from one point to another.. memang tak mudah kan.. but if we join biz industry, memang kita boleh tengok macam mane kita punya improvement.. takan selamanya kita di takuk yang sama... :( teringin jugak nak merasa ada rumah cantik, kereta yang selesa, melancong ke eropah.. pergi umrah tiap - tiap tahun.. but nak bussiness pon kena ada kemahiran.. knowledge on the thing yang kita nak buat.. I got knowledge sikit - sikit in term of construction industry but.. I don't think construction is really an industry yang senang.. Ump.. choice bidang pon penting..

Well, maybe slowly, I can begin to sort my short term goal.. at least by tahun depan.. tenang sikit.. :) wedding selesai.. SKT pon done with flying colors.. dan dalam tenang.. mungkin kita jumpa sesuatu yang baru.. idea yang baru.. inisiatif yang baru.. we don't know.. Then long term goal pon jadi lebih mudah... well, monetary or not.. yang penting ketenangan dalam hidup.. balancing yang obviously, the hardest thing in life..

Kesihatan..

Just now my friend told me yang I should take care of my health.. :) I know.. :D Lately, memang asyik almost demam... I think last 2 weeks pon demam.. then today pon sama.. maybe sebab balik dari PD kot.. penangan air laut (tp ptg sgt masa mandi.. tak panas sgt).. atau pun sebenarnya aku memang tak tahan bersauna.. sebab 1st time bersauna at my aunt's house then rase pening2 lalat sikit.. after that datang la penyakit demam.. :(

Lama jugak tak bercuti so it kind of good to have such a short break like that for the weekends.. Makan - makan and sembang - sembang with my aunt. My aunt pon dh lebih 1 month tak kerja because she had accident and patah tangan.. pity her.. but dh semakin OK.. If ade anyone knows where to go for urut patah yang bagus.. let me know.. please.. the genuine one yang proven.. mana tahu serasi.

Hari Ahad singgah dekat Nilai on the way balik sebab Iwan's cousin nak bertunang so she wants to buy some stuff.. I'm actually rase sangat jelous dengan any person yang good at making hantaran... Like Iwan's aunt, I think she's pretty good at it.. but to me, I want something simple and tanak spend so much for the decos.. Kedekut kot myself.. hehe.. aren't we suppose to prioritize.. sebab saya bukan lah orang berada.. jadinya sekadar mencuba yang terbaik..

Ape komen saya tentang Nilai.. macam takpe je tak pergi pon.. hehe. Sungguh tak adil kan statement nih.. mase pergi tuh, what I saw ialah.. tak banyak pon pilihan bunga telur or bekas bunga telur yang menarik.. and tak murah sangat pon.. boleh beli di sini saja.. tapi rasanya mama mesti nak pergi lagi sebab nak beli langsir and cadar pengantin aku.. :(  tak leh pakai cadar biase ke, mama.. akemi pon ok what :D Tapi my dad mesti nak belikan jugak cadar anak kesayangannya yang tak berapa heran pasal cadar pengantin..  last time kedai kat komplek tu kate RM850 pon die macam nak beli dah... Tak pe ye abah, kite cari cheaper kedai.. Mungkin kami patut tunggu Jakel Shah Alam bukak.. bile nak bukak nih.... :D

Aku of course sangat bersyukur dengan my parents.. mereka sangat menyayangi aku.. Terima kasih mama & abah.. Aku berharap sangat aku boleh jadi sehebat mama dan abah.. kenapa? Aku tak dibesarkan susah pon atau pun terlalu senang. Just nice..  tapi.. diorang memang bagi yang terbaik.. yer la, dlu dari duduk kuarters pindah umah setingkat dengan kitorang 4 beradik, sangat sarat rumah.. skarang dah ade umah 2 tingkat, bilik sorang satu diorang memang buat untuk keluarga kami.. Untuk kahwin pun mereka bermurah hati bantu..  Imagine la.. aku sbenarnye keje tak sampai setahun pon.. logiknya, mane la nak cekau duit banyak gila untuk wedding.. so, my parents memang bantu sebab nak anak dia happy, kahwin tuh kan elok.. tapi if nak cantik2 semua aku kene la saving.. jadi, bermula la episod saving aku untuk kahwin.. :D honestly, aku tak sempat pon bersuka ria sangat ngan duit gaji aku.. sebab dari start keje pikir next step nak kawen :D  xsnonoh la pompuan nih.. :D If boleh, aku pon nak sangat bagi kesenangan yang baik untuk anak - anak aku.. rumah selesa, nak kahwin pon tak pening2 sangat... hopefully.. pe yang aku belajar.. simpan la duit, untuk kesenangan anak - anak juga.. xyah ajar anak - anak mewah sangat sebab aset ( umah, tanah) lagi penting daripada seluar jeans guess mahu pon beg guess.. :)

Ump.. dah - dah la aku nih demam pon banyak celoteh sangat.. padahal tadi time kursus monyok je.. ( aku akan dikursuskan setiap minggu mulai minggu ini.. sampai mid mei kot.. hari ni KIK la plak... minggu depan kontrak.. minggu lagi satu audit..) hopefully aku bertambah pandai :D

Baju Nikah, pindah office room and PD news

Iwan didn't want us to wear white during our nikah.. but the outfit has to be pastel color.. or light.. first, I thought of getting peach color. After he re-think, he wants it to be in brownish like. So, we went to gulati's shah alam and found nice satin silk with such color but spoiling his mood since no baju lelaki suit that color.. his head then spinning try to figure out another color..

We decide to go to Jakel kl since Jakel on sale.. and search for that color.. well, we've found the dusty brownish tone that we like.. yay.. I hope it will turn out to be pretty baju. Oh.. I'm so sorry for myself since I can't wait to buy the kain..  But I think it will be enough.

Today I switch room in office.. so many things to tidy up now.. :( but I like this new mood in new room.. hopefully lebih bersemangat kerja.. amin! Mama said yes to me to follow Iwan to PD.. but I will bermalam at my aunt's house, of course.. just nak ikut jalan2 je.. Iwan is with his family actually.. Can't wait for the weekend.. phew!